The Socks of a Salesman
by CornCob
Summary: Gift-fic for Sleighbells. Cloud is one lousy door to door salesman who just may have a change of luck when he knocks on the door of one slightly abnormal brunet. Leon/Cloud smutfic.


Disclaimer: Don't own the characters/KH/FF. Don't own the phonebook companies, or that telephone number song. That's by...I can't remember. Some famed artist that escapes me at the moment. Tommy Tutone? Yea, don't own him or his stuff. Oh, don't own Death of a Salesman for the joke-title thing.

A/N:

So basically, I have been feeling really guilty lately about not updating the German story...so I thought it would ease my discomfort if I tossed something else out here. Wrote it like...a month ago as a gift-fic for Sleighbells, written more or less in return for her writting the C/L lemon in the upcoming German chapter. That chapter is still on hold because all of my attention is focused on ANOTHER trade-fic deal with her...and I really want my Alucard/Seph (DREAM CRACK PAIRING!!!) fic in return, so needless to say...the other story was shoved on the back burner. So yea...enjoy this one! ..Please?

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"Hi. My name is Jeffrey…uhh..Jenkins and I am selling—" The harsh sound of thick oak slamming against a slightly less oak frame caused the young blond on the porch to flinch before frowning and shaking his head. This was the seventh time that morning that a door had been slammed in his face before he finished a sentence. Giving a few more curses than his pastor would have felt necessary, 'Jeffery-uhh-Jenkins' trudged down the front steps of the modern, three bedroom home. Eyeing his cart at the end of the driveway, he was considering just leaving it and never going to into work again when he heard his cell phone go off.

"Hello?"

"Strife?" The gruff voice over the phone made the blond cringe and instantly wish that he hadn't answered at all.

"I know you're there, boy. Have you sold a damn thing today?"

He was considering pretending his phone had dropped a call, which according to recent commercials, his network was prone to do, but decided against it. The last thing he needed was Cid Highwind hunting him down on the street.

"….Not yet. "

The blond held his breath as he heard the man over the phone sigh heavily.

"Cloud, have you been using the name? I told you, no one is going to buy anything from a guy named Cloud."

The blond gave the phone a glare before putting it back to his hear, toeing the brim of his merchandise cart as he did so.

"Yes, I'm using a different name."

"Well why the hell isn't it workin'? You've got today, kid. If you don't make at least half your expected daily quota by the afternoon, your ass is out, ya here me? I like ya, kid, and I hate to do this, but…You better sell some damn product."

Cloud snapped his phone shut, feeling slightly miffed after all of the name insults and having this job threatened. He hated his lousy door-to-door salesman life, but that didn't mean he wanted to get fired. If people weren't going to buy from someone named Cloud, they certainly weren't going to _hire_ someone named Cloud, as his uncle so often reminded him. Not that Cid would ever openly admit that the two of them were related by blood; no, that was one of the better kept secrets of the office.

Sighing and clutching the handle of his cart, Cloud began the slow process of hauling a three-hundred pound engine down the block. He was going to make a sale at the next door, he swore his life on it. He was not taking no for an answer. Not only that, but he was going to do it with his real name, too.

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Unfortunately for Cloud, the next house he picked was the one that no mother allowed her child to play in front of, or even walk past after dark. As he stepped up on the front porch, clearing his throat and raising his hand to knock, he noticed behind him that a few of the neighborhood children had stopped their activities to stare at him. Each had a look of fear and stricken panic on their face. Raising and eyebrow, Cloud turned back to the door and gave it a shrill knock. Kids were weird. There was a reason they were never part of his plan.

Several minutes and seven knocks later, the door finally opened. In this time, Cloud had decided that this was going to be the home of some old, possibly bedridden couple who's only joy in life was being grouchy and tormenting those around them. After all, that is roughly his life plan in about sixty or so years. He was surprised, however, when the door swung open to reveal a young man no older than himself with shaggy brown hair and irritated grey eyes. He couldn't help but stare back at the man for a few seconds before clearing his throat once again and crossing his hands in front of him so that they were politely clasped before him.

"Good morning, si—"

"It's the afternoon."

Cloud paused, frowning at the monotonous comment, quickly shaking his head and making the amend.

"Afternoon, Sir. I'm Cloud Strife, and I was wondering if you would be interested in—"

"Do you sell pills?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Do you sell alcohol?"

Cloud made a skeptical face and shook his head again.

"Then go away."

With that, the door was shut in the blond's face for the _eighth _time that day. Scrunching up his nose and throwing a glare over his shoulder at all of the now giggling children, Cloud resolutely straightened his posture, giving the door another hearty knock.

Again the door opened, this time the brunet inside looking vaguely confused.

"Why are you still here?"

Cloud crossed his arms across his chest, his hip cocking slightly to the side.

"I swore to myself that I would make a sale today, and if I don't get at least one check, I'm going to lose my job. So I would appreciate it if you would hear me out. And yes, thank you, I would love to come inside and explain further."

Pushing past the man, Cloud forcefully invited himself into the creaky home. Once inside, he took some time to take in his surroundings. The home didn't look like it belonged to twenty something year old. No, looking at the walls covered in black and white photos of grandchildren, the home seemed more suited to an eighty year old women who desperately needed to dust once in a while.

Ignoring this for now, Cloud turned towards the other man who had since followed the pushy blond in, and was staring at him with a short of nervous confusion.

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Are you okay? I swear, I'm usually not this aggressive; I just really need you to buy from me."

The brunet gave the blond a lingering look before shifting his gaze to a wall.

"I've never bought a prostitute before."

"A What!?" Cloud's eyes grew twice in size at the quiet comment before he ran a critical eye over his own attire. Did he _look_ like a prostitute? Jesus, no wonder no one would hear him out.

"No no no no! I'm not a hooker!" At that, the brunet made a sort of perplexed face.

"Oh…Well…You can leave now."

Cloud's eyes narrowed as he approached the only slightly taller male, grabbing him by the shoulders and sitting him down on the couch. He was so sick of being dismissed before he even got to get a sentence in. Well that wasn't going to happen anymore. He was going to make this man hear him out even if it landed him a thirty-three mile restraining order and a picture on the evening news. At least that would make for good advertisement. Surely Cid couldn't hold that against him.

"Are you sure you're not a prostitute?"

Cloud stopped his musings and looked down, noticing that he was still gripping the shoulders of the now seated man. He forced a sweet smile at him and hastily removed his hands, taking a seat across from him.

"As I said, my name is Cloud Strife. May I ask your name?"

"No."

Cloud stared blankly at the man for a few moments before tacking on his cheesy smile once more.

"My name is Cloud Strife. May I ask your name?"

"No."

The blond glared at a now amused looking brunet. The other man was leaning back in his seat, one leg propped up across the other. Cloud's shoulders slouched. Screw professional, he had already basically assaulted this man.

"Can you just give me your goddamn name?"

"Leon."

The blond was preparing himself to have to ask several more times, pausing slightly in his shock that he had actually received a positive answer. Giving a satisfied smirk, he eased back onto the couch, making himself more comfortable.

"All right Leon, let me first thank you for inviting me into your beautiful home."

At that, Leon snorted. Cloud pretended not to hear it.

"Do you have a jet, plane, helicopter, or airship?"

The brunet looked taken aback by the question.

"No."

"Good, than it goes without saying that you do not have a jet, plane, helicopter, or airship motor. That's great. I'm just going to go get the paper work and we will set you up with one of those before the end of the hour. Doesn't that sound nice?"

"Yes it does."

Cloud felt that it was going to be a reoccurring thing as his eyes widened for what seemed to be the sixth time since seeing this man. The blond searched the other man's face for signs of sarcasm, though was able to discover nothing. Shrugging inwardly, Cloud reached inside of his double-breasted jacket pocket, feeling around for the desired paperwork. He always kept one order form on his person at all times, should he find a streak of luck. This particular piece of paper had been in his pocket since he was hired.

"How much is this going to cost me?"

Cloud noticed that there was nothing but lazy curiosity in Leon's voice, which was both very strange and very good, because it was going to cost him a lot. It was a shame to know he was going to charge someone so attractive so much money for a junky nickel and dime engine, but Cloud had his job to think about here.

"About 14,000 gil."

He tried his best to keep his tone level, and that the way he flinched when he said such a high number would make the man change his mind.

"Would you like to look into one of our payment plans, or are you going to pay all at once?"

"All at once."

Cloud's face fell.

"You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

"No. I thought about it, but you keep insisting that you're not a hooker."

The pen must have had a mind of its own as it flew from Cloud's hand, surely having nothing to do with the fact that Cloud had inadvertently flung the thing in his shock. Leon wore an amused smirk as his eyes followed to where the pen rolled at his feet, and back to Cloud, who was staring at him with an unreadable expression. Perhaps he had gone too far, not that he was too concerned. It wasn't every day a traveling salesman knocked on his door, and it certainly wasn't every day that they were cute enough to invite themselves in. He tried not to let his enjoyment look too obvious, averting his gaze back to the pen and schooling his face into a blank expression as Cloud's surprise wore off.

"You gonna get that?"

Cloud continued to stare at this odd man a few seconds longer before shaking his head and stood from the couch, wondering why in the hell the guy couldn't just hand it to him. He decided against asking, since he didn't want to test the man who was about to spend more money than he was probably going to make in a year.

After bending to pick up his pen, and fighting the strange feeling that Leon was staring at his ass, the blond stood and made to move back when a voice stopped him.

"Sit over here. I want to see what you're writing."

Cloud glanced at his old seat from the corner of his eye, longing to return to it and the safety it promised. How was he supposed to slightly over charge the guy if he could see what he was doing? Besides, this "Leon" guy was kind of weird. He kept staring at him and biting his lip now and again. Telling himself that the brunet was just chapped, Cloud nodded and took a seat next to Leon.

"All right, first we are going to need to get your full na-"

"You have an exquisite jaw line."

Leon tried not to chuckle as he said it, never having been one to use fancy adjectives, nor to hit on strange door to door salesman. Cloud was just trying not to choke.

"Uh, thanks. Yours is nice, too. Now I need your name. Last fir-"

"You really think so?" The brunet questioned, ignoring Cloud as he brought a thoughtful hand to his own jaw. Cloud paused, watching Leon run his fingers up along his jaw line, wondering just what was going on with this guy. He seemed kind of…crazy. Sexy, but definitely crazy. It was at this time that Cloud allowed his eyes to fully roam over Leon's body for the first time. The man was wearing a simple white tank top which displayed a wonderful amount of bronzed, toned skin and a tight pair of black jeans. Dropping his gaze further, the blond noticed the man was also wearing a pair of socks, though one was black and the other was a shade of dark green. This caused Cloud to freeze up momentarily before moving his eyes to his own ankles, slightly shifting his pants to display his own mismatched socks.

A small smile crossed his face as he forced himself to stomp out the barrage of cheesy soul-mate garbage his subconscious was so quick to spit up.

"You okay?"

Cloud realized he was zoning and quickly straightened his pants, putting on a professional face and turning, pen in hand, to face Leon once more. It seemed the man wasn't in a hurry to divulge his name, so Cloud decided that part could wait.

"I'll need your address."

Leon paused, lips slightly parted as he looked off in the general direction of the staircase, seemingly perplexed.

"Uh…" He gave Cloud a glance in the corner of his eye before craning forward to stare out of the front window, squinting and straining to read the numbers on the mailbox in his front yard. After gathering the necessary information, Leon resumed his relaxed position, ignoring the strange look he was receiving and answered Cloud in a calm voice.

"8095 Pool Dr."

Cloud didn't write the address down, and instead continued to stare at the brunet with a suspicious look.

"What's your home telephone number?" His voice was untrusting and slightly nervous, to which Leon only stared back.

"You'll have to forgive me, I just moved in…"

Cloud nodded slowly, watching a Leon craned his body in an awkward manner, the brunet's eyes zeroing in on a stack of mail Cloud hadn't noticed on the coffee table. Leon tried to read the name on the letter as quickly as possible and without being noticed before he reached under the table for a phone book, pulling it into his lap and tossing a smile in Cloud's direction before flipping through the pages. Fortunately for the brunet, Cloud took no notice to his strange fascination with the electric bill in favor of staring ardently at his midsection, enjoying the way his shirt had ridden up when he stretched.

As Cloud continued to stare, Leon was having a little trouble finding a number matching one 'Pamela Douglas,' which led the brunet to a dead end. Sighing, he shut the phone book. Guess he was going to have to improvise.

"I forgot…I'm unlisted. I remember it now though…It's, uh…"

Unfortunatly, Leon had never been excessively clever when it came to forming numerical patterns, nor when it came to lying on the spot. This being true, the brunet proceeded to spill out a series of numbers, which, by the time he had finished, sounded painfully familiar.

"Eight six seven five three……oh… nine…"

By the time he reached the end of the statement, his voice had also waivered, becoming uncertain. It was in that moment that Cloud pieced together the man's reluctance to admit a name, the address, the phone number, the grandchildren on the walls… the lack of electricity. He had actually only just noticed that last factor, though it did freak him out. A lot.

"This isn't your house….is it?"

Grey eyes stared into bright blue as an eerie silence fell over the room. Eyeing the door, Cloud panicked, deciding to get the hell out of this house before it was too late. Before he could fully stand, Leon bolted up, snagging Cloud by the wrist and pulling him back down to the couch, rolling the blond below him so that he could properly subdue him. After taking a few nasty blows to the back of the head, Leon finally managed to shove Cloud's arms beneath him, no longer allowing the blond to attack him. Throughout this time, Cloud was yelling and screaming about sociopath serial killers and not wanting to be eaten, and something about not liking his job.

"Stop it! I'm not going to kill you, just shut up!"

But Cloud didn't shut up.

"Let go of me, you freak! I don't want to put the lotion on! Just let me go back to selling shitty motors, I swear to God I won't tell anyo---"

In retrospect, Cloud rationalized that it wasn't really his fault. Silence was the expected result when the person abducting you was to suddenly shove their mouth over yours.

Having already employed his hands in detaining Cloud, Leon had used the last option he had before Cloud alerted the friggen world of what was going on. What he didn't expect, however, was the response he received. One would imagine that being kissed by a forced captor would bring about worry and fear, not arousal. It was a little known fact that Cloud was very into forceful sex.

In his shock of a small pink tongue darting out to meet his lips, Leon released the blonds hands, which instantaneously found themselves in his shaggy chocolate hair. Leon could not believe his eyes as his tiny, should-be captor kissed him like there was no tomorrow, and even more alarmed at the steadily growing erection he could feel pressing against his thigh. However, this was something Leon decided he could run with.

Smirking, he opened his mouth, his own tongue meeting Cloud's as the two shared the most fucked up kiss they had ever experienced. Just the thought of it had Cloud moaning already. He had often asked his significant others to act out kidnap/rape role play, though one can assume the usual answer. The fact that this was less role play more actual occurrence didn't seem to deter the blond one bit.

Twisting a hand out from between them, Cloud quickly worked his way into Leon's thin tank top. Pulling it up the best he could from his cramped position, and while being kissed like his life depended on it, Cloud exposed Leon's chest and stomach, finding the man to be much more built than he had anticipated, though not obscenely so.

As Cloud's fingers found his nipples, Leon did his best not to attempt any rationalization at what was going on. Instead he distracted himself by pulling his shirt the rest of the way over his head before lowering himself over Cloud once more. He smirked down at the blue eyed man, tracing his tongue over the other's lips, one of his hands traveling downwards. Cloud let out a gasp as Leon skipped the teasing altogether, instead just shoving his hand straight down and clutching is cock, giving him no time to think before he was pumping him roughly.

The blond moaned loudly, abandoning Leon's chest to return the favor. He was met with some trouble, however, as Leon's pants were tight to begin with, and tighter still with the hardened length straining against the fabric. Thrusting his tongue back into Leon's mouth, Cloud grabbed the large bugle in his hand, giving it a few firm squeezes, enjoying the way Leon shuddered in pleasure at the act. The brunet's lips found the lobe of Cloud's ear, his teeth nipping at the soft skin as he groaned his appreciation at Cloud's cruel hand. Cloud's eyes rolled back at the hot breath echoing in his ears; that had always been one of his weaknesses.

Quickly, Leon lifted himself from the writhing body beneath, pulling his hand from Cloud's cock to instead work on the buttons of his pants. It was a process made difficult as Cloud saw fit to rise up with him, now pressing needy kisses against his chest as he continued to massage him through his pants. Leon bit back a moan, hurriedly tugging the pants off of the blonds thin hips before angling around Cloud's wonderful hands to undue his own jeans. His pants had been off for a resounding two seconds before Leon felt himself be pushed backwards on the couch as he felt Cloud crawl over his body. He idly wondered how it went from him holding a salesman against his will to that very hostage molesting him, though when he felt a hot mouth surround him, it didn't seem to matter so much anymore. The blond between his legs continued to suck him, bobbing his head up and down at a pace that was turning Leon's blood into fire. It wasn't long before he felt a familiar coiling in his belly, to which he was faced with the hardest decision of his life. He could cum now, or he could stop that lovely little thing so enthusiastically sucking his cock to move onto other, better things. Hating himself, Leon brought a hand down to halt the head of blond hair, bringing confused blue eyes to meet him.

"Come up here."

His voice was rugged and full of lust, sending a jolt to Cloud's groin and forcing him to comply. They both twitched as Cloud dragged himself up Leon's firm body, their lengths rubbing together. Leon closed his eyes tightly as Cloud rubbed their erections together a few more times before the brunet trailed his hands down to his hips. Cloud allowed Leon's hands to pull him into a sitting position, finding himself seated on the man's midsection, a hard, pulsing erection standing just behind his ass.

Cloud smirked as Leon hummed appreciatively up at him.

"Do you need lube or anything?"

Leon got his answer as he felt Cloud lift himself off of his body, only to lower himself once more, this time a tight heat sliding down and over the brunet's cock. He supposed that was a 'No.' Cloud let out a low moan as he finally slid completely down Leon's shaft, his ass now seated on a pair of tanned thighs.

After a few moments of adjustment, Leon released a growl as Cloud slowly built up a steady pace, lifting himself up and down in a quickly growing rhythm. Realizing that he didn't exactly have anything to be doing, Leon contented himself with watching the small, gorgeous man on top of him use him like a fuck toy, watching the way Cloud's face contorted every time his prostate was struck. After cutting himself off from orgasm earlier, it didn't take long for the feeling to return in Leon's stomach, which was a good thing, considering the noises Cloud had begun to make. The brunet felt his cock twitch inside of Cloud as he was on the verge of cumming, mesmerized as Cloud's face contorted in ecstasy. As Cloud came messily on Leon's stomach and chest, Leon's eyes slid closed as the fire within him erupted, filling Cloud as he orgamsed harder than he could remember ever having done before.

Exhausted, the blond above him released the softening member from inside of him before dropping down onto the lightly muscled chest, sighing happily as tanned arms wrapped around him. Leon wondered if this was going to eventually become awkward as he felt the smaller man drift off into a peaceful sleep, also pondering Cloud's level of sanity. Having sexual intercourse and then falling asleep on top of a man who wasn't going to let you leave his house was not exactly normal behavior. Shaking his head, the brunet shrugged it off, his eyes trailing down Cloud's petite body, his gaze falling to rest on the mismatched pair of socks on the blond's small feet. A smile spread over his face as he looked to his own mismatched feet, rolling his eyes before settling himself deeper into the couch, giving the man on top of him one last look before drifting off as well.

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A/N: Heh, so yea. Maybe that will make me feel a little less guilt-ridden...Probably not. What can I say, I'm selfish!


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